Posted on December 18, 2011 at 5:05 pm in Friends
Updating/blogging is really not my forte xD. I’m pretty sure not many people really read my blogs anyway, but I’ll still post an update. So what’s going on, Chibi?
I guess I’ll write about one of the topics in my last post: the former best friend. Coincidentally, not that long after I posted the letter to her, she poked me on Facebook [and no, she didn't read my blog before the poke]. We were playing this poking war for a while, until I mustered the courage to message her on AIM. We talked and apologized for our past foolishness. We decided to meet up — along with 3 of our mutual childhood friends — during my visit to California in August.
Currently we’re at the level of acquaintances [exchanging "how are you doing" here and there]. Hopefully, our friendship will be stronger than it is now — although I don’t expect it to be how it was before. But I’ll be patient and wait until we’re both ready to rebuild it up into a more confortable level.
I’m really happy and grateful with the way things are going for me right now. And not just only with rekindling some form of friendship with my former best friend.. I’m happy with my friendships with the people currently in my life as well. [The events around my birthday also added onto the appreciation that I already have.] I really love my life and friends. Thank you guys so much ♥ ♥!
Posted on July 1, 2011 at 11:53 pm in 30 Day Letter, Dreams, Final Fantasy, Friends
As I was perusing my Facebook, I saw a picture containing two of my childhood acquaintances which led me to reminisce to the times we were all friends. Things were so easy-going back then: carefree lives with no obligations except for school. Today, I’m no longer close to any of them due to horrible mistakes, miscommunications, and a whole lot of taking for granted in the past. I keep telling myself that things happened and there’s not much that can be done at this point, but I still think of the late night talks, and uncontrollable laughter with tons of memories shared between us. Memories. I’ve thought about trying to rekindle some kind of friendship between us, but why try when they have already given up? Would you still try? I guess it shows how ambitious and dedicated a person is, but would you want to continue pushing them away? I guess I’ll just indirectly write them a letter on here, just so I can let this go. If they read it, awesome. If not, oh well?
I know that apologizing for what I’ve done is pointless, especially when it’s been 5 years since the incident. Not only did I abandoned you when you needed me the most, I also showed the lack of interests towards repairing what was falling apart. You still held on, and gave me that benefit of doubt, while instead, I did the opposite. I never really apologized nor thanked you for that. I was a terrible friend and person to you. And in all honesty, I still love and care for you. I’m pretty sure this is unrequited, and I brought that upon myself, but I still want to see you do well in life and to see you happy — even if I’m not in it anymore. When I found out that you were apathetic towards our most recent meeting, I was depressed.. but I guess there’s nothing else that can be done. All I can do now, is just wish for your well-being and happiness in life. I miss you.. I really miss you. Em xin lỗi..
Ha! Depressing shit eh? Speaking of depression, lately I’ve been taking voice lessons to help lower my depression. What?! Chibi’s depressed?! Yeah, people get depressed from time to time you know? It comes and goes for me.. more often than I’d like.. but I’m trying to cope with it. Singing actually helps me though. That and anything Final Fantasy related.
OOOOOH! Speaking of Final Fantasy (sorry for jumping too many topics in this post!), last week was the Final Fantasy Distant Worlds II marathon in Chicago. It’s my 5th time seeing FF:DW concert (I know.. NERD STATUS!) but I can never get tired of it. The thing is, when I first found out about FF concerts back in 2004-05, it was already too late for me to go. And I got this impression that they wouldn’t do anymore tours, but low and behold FF:DW in Chicago March 2008! I just HAD to go. At that time, I’ve just started my job — so I had to buy relatively cheap tickets. Then another one in San Francisco July 2009! I already planned to visit California that time, so I might as well attend this concert too. This time, I got to meet Nobuo Uematsu. Third time, back in Chicago Dec 2009 — they were premiering a bunch of songs. Fourth, SF July 2010 — the concert was actually on 2 nights, I went to both. I got to meet Uematsu again. And then, last week.. with a back to back concert. Yes, I know I’m a nerd for going to so many FF concerts.. but if they’re touring around.. I might as well take advantage of it, correct?
Ah I keep blabbering! Anyway, I should probably do Day 5 of the letter meme now.
You rock. Because of you, I feel accomplished. Now I know I didn’t fulfill everything yet, but I managed to complete quite a few things. Like, attending FF concerts and meeting Nobuo Uematsu TWICE for instance. Do you know how good that felt?! I’m sure you do! Haha. However, you’ve changed. You’re no longer the same as last year, or the year before that. I’m still pursuing you though. But through a different route, so be prepared to see me Dream! Be very well prepared!
Posted on June 6, 2011 at 7:55 pm in 30 Day Letter, Family
I used to hate you two with a passion while growing up. You traumatized my childhood with your pranks and random beatings. But after moving to Chicago with Mom, I felt really lonely and missed you guys dearly. D., I know you feel bad for hitting me over the most ridiculous things, like me winning Mortal Kombat via button mashing. (Yes, I’m still bitter about it! But I still love you though).
It sucks that we all can’t really hang out. Although we do chill from time to time, it’s not as much much as I would like. But I guess it can’t be helped, especially when D. is living in a different state. Hopefully we will be able to reunite again, maybe around Christmas?
I really look up to you guys. You both influenced me in many different ways. I’m proud and grateful to have you as my brothers. I love you guys so much, and I’m always here when you need any help.. just like how you were always there to support me. Thanks so much